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The life and times of Tom and Toby

Posted: October 27th, 2010, 11:07 pm
by thedogmother
Tom and Toby were two Lurchers that we never should have gone to see, should never have bought one of them, never mind both and certainly not have fell in love with them. when me and the old git first met he had a well behaved lurcher called Duke. they were always together and as old gits mariage was on the rocks he was better of with the dog. but as time went on and we got together Duke was spending more time with og's mum. in the end she claimed him for herself. So as it was comming up to OG's birthday I thought I would by him a pup. the only ones available were two lucher pups, already four months old. but Im a bit like a train and cant be stoped when Im on a mission. So we went to look-there they were, a more scruffy, smelly, mental pair you would never want to meet. nothing was right, not their legs, their eyes, their shape, fur-but we came away with Toby. when we got him home and he chewed, spued and shat on everything that we held dear but we kept thinking about the other one we left behind, the one we left in the dirty cold rat infested shed, the ugly one that no one would ever want-no one except us that is. we were the most stupid, thick, soft hearted idiots that should not be allowed out with a minder. yes, you guessed it. back we went to buy Tom the very next day and they had one brain between them and Toby had it most of the-time not that he used it much.we had them for sixteen years sixteen years of sheer hell.



If you would like to read about two adults being reduced to jibbering idiots on a daily basis watch this space theres a lot more to tell . . . . .

Follow this link to read part 2:

The dog mother @ The life and times of Tom and Toby [part2]

Re: The life and times of Tom and Toby

Posted: October 27th, 2010, 11:30 pm
by theoldgit
OH NO,MY DOG PAST IS COMING BACK TO HAUNT ME :lolbonk:

The life and times of Tom and Toby [Part 2]

Posted: October 29th, 2010, 2:08 pm
by thedogmother
THE LIFE AND TIMES OF TOM AND TOBY: CHRISTMAS 1975 [THEY WILL HAVE TO GO] Now seven months old, the boys as we now called em have already eaten two car interiors and were constantly fighting, albeit frendly, the noise was deafening and as we were in a terraced house there was no escape. it was coming up to christmas and we were making the usual preps: the og always liked a real christmas tree which was an ordeal in itself. after several hours of being pricked to death and water and needles every where, I had got it in to position high up so the boys couldnt get it, put lights on and all the usual decs-yes, you guessed it, chocs as well [that was the og, the big kid] but they never touched em-not when we were watching them any way. Christmas eve; All the presis are under the tree, including everyone elses and it looked a picture. i was cooking sausage rolls, the old git was watching tv at full blast so I could hear Jason and the argonnauts from the kitchen, the boys laid sound asleep in front of the fire-a proper domestic scene, dont you think-ha, read on. the phone rang. it was a breakdown. took my eyes off the pastry for one second-it had gone, the whole lot. both the boys had flour around their beards, og took the rest of the call and I was still trying to decide which one had had it when I looked at tobys tummy. it was massive and he was ill within minutes. he had thrown it up, I went in to one, peace was destroyed. there was going to be no sausage rolls and the old git was about to go on this damned breakdown. og said "well come with me then" I said "what about the boys, we cant leave them they will wreck the place" "they'le be aright he said after the bollicking I just gave em", so we did. we left them home alone. as we left they just laid there hoping for no more shouting, toby still looking green around the gills. The breakdown was some pissed pratt who had gone to some posh office do at one of the posh hotels and rather than get a taxi it would be cheaper to ring the rac because he had relay and that way he got his car home and himself for f**** all. wrong! the old git put him right on that one the air was blue and got a things got a bit violent. he threatened to report the old git and we left. Home again, I thought on the way home it'll be okay, ill go home, make some more pastry and get back in to Christmas-untill we opened the door-or tried to. there was some sort of greenery blocking the way-yep, it was the Christmas tree, still attatched to the lights, sparking, not a whole branch left on it. the presis all chewed and with unmentionable all over it. water and mud was every where, not a choc in sight. as the tree had come down, the wire on the lights had dragged everything off the mantle piece, victorion artifacts in a thousend pieces. Well, the boys hid up. I tore my hair out, as the old git started to clear up and I came downfrom the ceiling. I started to help him. I said "what about the sausage rolls?" "he said I'll sort them out, Im usless at clearing up" so he went into the kitchen. I put the christmas christmas tree back up-it looked a poor old thing but it was all we had. i put back some of the chewed decorations, hoovered up. it was terrible but what else could we do? we didnt see them for an hour. they went and hid under the bed. my god, what a day. I cheered up a bit when I went into the kitchen. there stood the old git, coverd in oil grease and flour. he had made the pastry beautifully with the added attraction of black thumb prints. he was working he said, "allright mate" I smilled and said "yeah Im allright but them dogs will have to go". he said "yeah, after Christmas" "okay" I said "yeah after christmas" .

Does one chocolate maketh the whole tree yes we thinketh it does Tom and Toby

Follow this link to read part 3:

The dog mother @ The life and times of Tom and Toby [part3]

Re: The life and times of Tom and Toby

Posted: October 30th, 2010, 9:35 am
by Diamond Kartel
What a Great story Dogmother is it to be continued?? Tell us more of the Terrible Two - 16 years is a long time to have any pet let alone those two, lol Awwwww bets theres loads of stuff they got up to. I bet they did things around OG you don't even know about, lololololol

Thanks for sharing

:ty: :ty: :ty:

Re: The life and times of Tom and Toby

Posted: October 30th, 2010, 9:41 pm
by theoldgit
Diamond Kartel wrote:What a Great story Dogmother is it to be continued?? Tell us more of the Terrible Two - 16 years is a long time to have any pet let alone those two, lol Awwwww bets theres loads of stuff they got up to. I bet they did things around OG you don't even know about, lololololol

Thanks for sharing

:ty: :ty: :ty:
theres much much more to come im sure rose,they were not the only dogs we had at that time and many tales to tell,....like tom and the green house,fluffy and bob tail,the strange story of the wobbly dressing table and many more,hope you enjoy....john snr xx

Re: The life and times of Tom and Toby

Posted: October 30th, 2010, 10:06 pm
by mark lamont
these are great stories you could put them in a book an enjoyable read thanks for posting

Re: The life and times of Tom and Toby

Posted: October 31st, 2010, 6:16 pm
by TEAM R&B
I loves a good story.................

Re: The life and times of Tom and Toby

Posted: October 31st, 2010, 7:23 pm
by Miss Yellow Wellies
What agreat story... keep em coming x x x

Re: The life and times of Tom and Toby

Posted: November 1st, 2010, 8:50 pm
by Shipley
Great reading ,......a book really should be considered !!!!!! :thumbsup:

Cheers , Terry.

Re: The life and times of Tom and Toby

Posted: November 1st, 2010, 10:51 pm
by kirsty
i would totally agree with a book

keep them coming cant wait for the next chapter
xx